I'm gonna scream...

A while back I started telling the world at large that Satan is... well, quite disagreeable. I can prove that she lies, I can point at bad mothering, I watch her relationships dissolve from afar. None of this can be good for our son, who still remembers the bars she used to take him to.

One day, having failed my second computer science course (well, I got a 'D'), I decided that perhaps another field is better for me. Looking over the fields that have interested me most, I come up with "Biomedical Engineering." I want to work with neural interfaces. This stuff sounds top notch. There's some other work there that sounds great, and if things fall through I can get a degree in English. So where to turn for this kind of degree?

The next state over. I prepare for this and tell Satan of my plans. She screams bloody murder at me for trying to deprive her of contact with her son. I ask for her input on visitation and maybe other accomodations and get none.

We go to a hearing, in order to make sure that we aren't going to settle this out of court, and sure enough, we aren't.

Then, she hires an evaluator. I was willing to chip in some money, but she wanted to foot the bill herself. The evaluator's job is to form a good, solid, professional opinion on what is in the best interests of the child and create a recommendation. Nine times out of ten the court goes with that recommendation.

Well, the report (which has yet to be filed with the court) says that I'm a scum monkey. I'm a bad man with dreams of having my child all to myself and short changing Satan at every stop. It then proceeded to say that I should keep custody of my son, and we be allowed to move. This was mostly based on the obvious relationship that my children have with each other. My kids rock.

Maybe I am a scum monkey. I accept that I'm not perfect. I don't make an effort to do bad things to Satan, but maybe I could be nicer to her. I will make an effort, not that I expect it to help any.

Satan didn't like this. Nossir. Not good enough.

Now we are set for court, and by late February everything should be truly known.

I'm sure there's a lesson in all of this. A good "Charlie, you goober, pay attention" lesson. The only one I've figured out is that picking up women on street corners is the worst way to start a relationship. Especially if they're selling stuff.