It's the cheesiest!

Wisconsin has more Pigglywigglys than Georgia.

What has the world come to, that a southern state so steeped in culture and heritage is outdone by yankees* in regards to such an icon as "Mr. Pig"? I'm writing to Ray Stevens** about this.

UPDATE! I'M AN IDIOT!
Piggly Wiggly is, indeed, headquartered in Texas. This:
"Web site for Fresh Brands Inc, headquartered in Sheboygan, Wisconsin servicing 90 Piggly Wiggly stores."
Was most likely my source of confusion, and I apologize for misleading people on this critical issue.

The question that lead me on my quest about Wisconsin burns once more:
What in tarnation is the Pig doing so far north?

*Wisconsin is the corporate headquarters of Pigglywiggly, so it only makes sense that there are quite a few in the area, or vice versa. Still, many people (read: "my wife and I") associate that store with the south and southern living... not Sheboygan.

**and possibly R.E.M.

Anyone? Anyone?

So, I get into class today with homework in hand, prepared to the fullest. Many of my classmates had pulled together the same assignment... we were just waiting for the teacher to show.

And when he does?

"Ah, well, I needed to be more specific... sorry about that. So, how about I not make it due until tomorrow, and give you the specifics today?"

About 30 really confused folk look at him... you can hear the confusion. This man has been teaching the class for 20 years, and he always seems to have it together.

Ah, well.

Anybody...

I've introduced the oldest to AD&D (1st ed), and the younger two are not far behind, desiring to play a pirate and a paladin. Well, the youngest just likes to play with dice.

Anyway, if you'd like me to warehouse your 1st edition stuff for the expense of having it used, potentially, by a 3-year old, just stuff it in the mail with the words, "to: Charlie" and it'll come back with the words "Charlie don't surf!" on it.

Or, you could send it to me, if you know me. If you don't know me, and you just want to get rid of your old stuff, there's always the local game shop (although ours has stopped taking 1st ed stuff. Dang them). There's other gamers in your area, unless the reason you want to get rid of the stuff is that there aren't any, in which case you should consider moving. Where do you live that you can't find gamers? Maybe you just aren't being social enough.

At any rate, I feel certain that something remarkably "cloak and dagger"-esque could be arranged should you desire to give me your books.

Solely as a means of warehousing them, really. But with usefulness involved.

Curse you, Red Baron!

Or, "thank you" for a few moments of laughter and general geek goodness.

The results?
Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 70% Supergirl 68% Spider-Man 60% Robin 60% Wonder Woman 53% Hulk 50% The Flash 50% Green Lantern 45% Batman 40% Catwoman 40% Iron Man 20%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz





60.74951% - Extreme Geek
+ Geekish Tendencies................................≥09%
++ Geek.............................................≥15%
+++ Total Geek......................................≥25%
++++ Major Geek.....................................≥35%
+++++ Super Geek....................................≥45%
++++++ Extreme Geek.................................≥55%
+++++++ Geek God....................................≥65%
+++++++! Dysfunctional Geek.........................≥75%

It shouldn't end this way...

I miss "Firefly," and I think "Serenity" is incomplete.

Regardless, some good one-liners:

Mal:"This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight... turbulence and then explode."

Wash:"Can I make a suggestion that doesn't involve violence, or is this the wrong crowd for that?"

Wash:"Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90 pound girl cuz... I don't think that's ever getting old."

Mal:"Doctor, I'm takin' your sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you, I will get very choked up. Honestly, there could be tears."

Mal:"You're right, we take all the money we got saved right now, we could maybe buy a moderately-sized gerbil."

Jayne:"Let's moon 'em."

Mal: "Well, they tell ya, never hit a man with a closed fist, but it is on occasion hilarious."

Jayne: "Little Kaylee's always one man short."

Inara: "I like watching the game. As with other situations, the key seems to be giving Jayne a heavy stick and standing back."

Kaylee: "Yes, sir, Captain Tightpants."

River: "It's not okay! You can't just dig into me, shove twenty needles in my eyes and ask me what I see!"

Mal: "See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like."

Wash: "Yeah, we should start dealing in those black-market beagles."

Simon: "Right. I'm very sorry if she tipped off anyone about your cunningly concealed herd of cows."

Mal: "This is the last time. Last time with cows. Hear there was an idea regarding beagles? They have smallish droppings?"

Jayne: "'Dear Diary, Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy.' 'Today, we were kidnapped by hill folk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever.'"

Mal: "You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like woman, I'm a mystery."

Jayne: "You got a wife? All I got is that dumbass stick sounds like it's raining. How come you got a wife?"

Simon: "My god -- you're like a trained ape. Without the training."

Simon: "This must be what going mad feels like."

Simon: "To Jayne! The box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong-thing."

Mal: "Point of interest? Offering to shoot us might not work so well as an incentive as you might imagine. "

Wash: "Hey, I've been in a firefight before! Well, I was in a fire. Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity. I can handle myself."

Simon: "Well, it's a clean cut. With the right equipment, I should be able to reattach it. That's assuming there's a head."

Zoe: "Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?"
Book: "Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps."

Monty: "Damn you, Bridget! Damn you ta Hades! You broke my heart in a million pieces! You made me love you, and then y-- I SHAVED MY BEARD FOR YOU, DEVIL WOMAN!"

Mal: "Oh! That was bracing. They don't like it when you shoot at them. I worked that out myself."

Mal: "This distress call wouldn't be taking place in someone's pants, would it?"

Jayne: "What? She killed 'em with mathematics. What else could it have been?"

Wash: "Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the beast."
Jayne: "She's in Congress?"
Wash: "How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious."

Wash: "Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction."

Jayne: "Yeah, all those years of priest trainin', taken out by one bounty hunter."

Dancing with myself

So I present a list of possible topics for the big "omigoshwholegrade" paper this semester, with the understanding that we could go wild.

Apparently doing a tech paper on the feasibility of a "Death Star" is out.
Anything with the words "dimensional rift" are out.
"Harry Potter" is out.

Piracy is out, owing to morality issues.

The list was getting depressingly small. I wound up with two remaining:

"Starting a home bakery" - feasibility report, practical, but boring.
"Surviving Basic Training" - a tech manual... with guns.

So, there you have it. I don't do boring, if I can help it.

We want the funk...

Well, last semester's grades are up, and the word is out.

I passed. Everything. I'll admit to being confused about it, as I was pretty sure Calculus had given me a thorough thrashing, but I somehow pulled that one out and my GPA is now at an acceptable level (although I will be boosting that puppy up a bit more, if I can help it).

The first book title to come to mind this morning was, "I have no mouth, and I must scream." (I think that comma is there, really). Needless to say, my mood is no longer so dreadful.

Must... scrub... brain

The theme to "Speed Racer" usually drives any catchy tune out of my head. It's a good safety for those things that simply will not rest.

But now it faces its mightiest opponent:

"Fruity ooty bars," of "Serenity" fame will not fade. I can hear it resonating in my skull, seeping into the convolutions of my brain, and setting up home right behind the optic center.

"Let it blow your mind," indeed.

It's full of stars...

Your Theme Song is Beautiful Day by U2

"Sky falls, you feel like It's a beautiful day Don't let it get away" You see the beauty in life, especially in ordinary everyday moments. And if you're feeling down, even that seems a little beautiful too.

What's Your Theme Song?

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"So, you're a cannibal."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Who Should Paint You: Tamara de Lempicka

You're universally attractive with a modern appeal A portrait of you would be both bewitching and approachable

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

You Are Dr. Bunsen Honeydew

You take the title "mad scientist" to the extreme -with very scary things coming out of your lab. And you've invented some pretty cool things, from a banana sharpener to a robot politician. But while you're busy turning gold into cottage cheese, you need to watch out for poor little Beaker! "Oh, that's very naughty, Beaker! Now you eat these paper clips this minute."

The Muppet Personality Test

Your Eyes Should Be Violet

Your eyes reflect: Mystery and allure What's hidden behind your eyes: A quiet passion

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

Your Stripper Song Is

My Love Is Like ... Wo by Mya "My love is like...wo My kiss is like...wo My touch is like...wo" You're the full package - and you let everyone know it!

What Song Should You Strip To?

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)

You're a great thinker and a true philosopher. You'd make a talented professor or writer.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

You Are Somewhat Machiavellian

You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead... But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself. You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place. You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to!

How Machiavellian Are You?

You Are a Fortune Cookie

You're a rather normal person, except that you have extraordinary luck in life. People want to be around you (even when they're a little sick of you), in hopes of being lucky too!

What Kind of Cookie Are You?

You Are a Goth!

You're so gothically outrageous, and you aren't afraid to flaunt it. Whether you dress up like Robert Smith or a tragic Little Bo Peep, chances are that you'll be parading around with the rest of the goths at Yoyogi Park on Sunday. Don't forget your white makeup and blue lipstick! Who knows? You may just get picked up by one of the seedy photographers.

What's Your Japanese Subculture?

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal. You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

Erotic Thriller

You've made your own rules in life - and sometimes that catches up with you. Winding a web of deceit comes naturally, and no one really knows the true you. Your best movie matches: Swimming Pool, Unfaithful, The Crush

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

You Are 26 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Charming Mathematician. Where You Lived: North Canada. How You Died: Consumption.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

You are 60% Virgo

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

You Are a Newborn Soul

You are tolerant, accepting, and willing to give anyone a chance. On the flip side, you're easy to read and easily influenced by others. You have a fresh perspective on life, and you can be very creative. Noconformist and nontraditional, you've never met anyone who's like you. Inventive and artistic, you like to be a trendsetter. You have an upbeat spirit and you like almost everything. You make friends easily and often have long standing friendships. Implusive and trusting, you fall in love a little too easily. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

You Scored 50% Correct

You are a solid child of the 80s You'd never confuse Tiffany from Debbie And while you may not know Prince's first #1 hit You know every word to Little Red Corvette

How Much Do You Know About 80s Music?

Cat's Eye

Yesterday, as my wife and I were preparing to turn in for the night, she gave out a little squeal. Now, if I'm the cause, I don't object, but she'd gone to the kitchen for some water while I headed for the bedroom.

So, being the man that I am, I looked over to check it out.

"What?"

"There's a mouse in our kitchen."

I look down and, sure enough, not a foot away from her big toe was that grey fuzzy critter referred to as "mouse" in the English language. I look around. I'm thinking of just telling the thing to shoo, but that, of course, leads to the most logical conclusion: shoe.

I'll just hit it with a shoe. Not that it's likely to be there when I get back. Mice are known for being rather skiddish. Heck, if I turned my back and started stomping around it was very likely to depart. So I did that, pretending to look for a shoe.

After sufficient stomping, in my opinion, I whisked up one of my dress shoes. The kind with a heel on it and about 4 lbs of patent leather. Understand that it's reasonable for one of my shoes to have that kind of weight because my feet are about the length and width of Yugos.

I turn around and look for mouse.

Mouse is still there, breathing excitedly. That's really disturbing.

In a hushed conversational tone, I ask my wife to move. "For sure the mouse will clear out when this happens," I think.

"Haha!" thinks the mouse, "they are going about their giant lives, oblivious to my shadowy presence!" There is a dramatic pause in the mousey thought processes as he notices a certain... weight in the air.

The mouse doesn't even twitch as I drop my dress shoes on him.

My wife has thankfully departed the area. I've squished many a bug in my time... some of them quite large and nasty, but this was the first time a mammal had died owing to my direct actions (the squirrel that jumped in front of my car that once was committing suicide, and I was merely the vehicle of his deliverance from this earth). Having a large weight dropped on one tends to produce 2 noticeable effects:

1) The subject is significantly flatter. Would that the mouse were alive, it could easily invade places it could not have done previously. I'm sure this would have been on its mind almost immediately.

2) The subject is remarkably wider. And, by "wider," I mean that it occupies far more horizontal space than it once did. Sadly, not all of it was contiguous.

I did a visual post mortem on the afflicted to discover that it had lost several organs which needed to be recovered, those being:

left eye
portions of the brain, mostly the frontal lobe.

and, last, but definitely not least:

Sweet merciful heavens somebody tell my it didn't loose its intestines upon my kitchen floor.

Well... poop.

Today's lesson

Technical Journalism, the foundations of effective technical writing:

1) Know your reader.
2) know your objective
3) K.I.S.S.
4) Know the context of the communication
5) Keep this stuff in mind when you write

All of this courtesy the book "Reporting Technical Information" (Oxford University Press, New York.

MC Lars

Maybe you haven't heard of this guy, in which case allow me to introduce you:

MC Lars, working with a new model to serve an old market that's thinking ahead of the old businesses.

As the MC says, "download this song".

(P.S. it's completely legal to download the man's entire catalog... really! Do it now! And then watch him in concert or buy a t-shirt or something, hunh? I mean, I think we should totally support this effort.)

My Secret Shame

You are a Social Liberal (71% permissive) and an... Economic Conservative (76% permissive) You are best described as a: Libertarian Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Geekline

What I'm showing, on the sidebar, is what I'm calling "geekline" (as if you hadn't guessed).

The purpose of geekline is to present sources of interest to geeks. This should end up being fairly broad, but right now is limited to electronic gaming. (sjgames is linked on the right as well, under "You aren't interested...") Expect some shuffling as I attempt to become more user friendly to me.

It's ALIVE!

Historically, there was a period when magnets looked like they could be the answer to everything... heck, perpetual motion seemed within our grasp, so I don't blame #1 son when he pipes up, from the back of our car, with:

"I've got an idea..."

Now, again, historically (granted, it's personal history, but whatever) that phrase is almost like "I wonder what happens when I shove a fork in a socket?" for stupidity content to follow, but he's still pretty young... you've gotta let them explore.

"Okay..."

"Well, we could run cars with magnets!"

"Ooookay. How would you get that to work?"

"Well, you remember the trains you were talking about? That used magnets...?"

"Electromagnets? And a track?"

"Yeah, I was thinking that a car could lay it's own track, and pull itself along!"

For a while I try to inform him of things like rudimentary physics, and that this line of thinking has been considered before and disregarded as not feasible, but he persists, so I must counter:

"I've got an even better idea... why don't we use crystals!? Crystals have infinite energy for healing and summoning UFOs and stuff, so we should be able to harness such for our vehicles, right?"

"Yeah!"

"NO! Crystals Don't have any inherent energy... they're rocks."

"Well, gold..."

"Gold is just a rock, too."

"What if it was a really big crystal?"

Lord help me, I swear that boy's going to push me to the brink someday. So I make that leap. You know the one... from the uninformed, to the inane, to the ludicrous.

"What about rabbits? We could feed them, and they'd reproduce like mad and we could drive based on how many male rabbits were in the engine compartment."

"What?"

"We could call it 'hare power'."

"Hunh?"

"Maybe smaller rodents, in which case, 'hamster power'."

I felt like busting out with "Turtle Power" right about then, and I probably would've entered full mockery mode if it hadn't been for the fact that he's my kid. I think he's given up on magnets as the cure for all that ails ye (at least I hope so. His pseudo-mom (and I'm not talking about my wife here) probably feeds him all sorts of crap regarding what she knows. It's kind of like getting your religious perspective from Tom Cruise 2 weeks a month.

Not that I'm even bringing up her religious perspective, cuz I'm not sure she's got one.

Well, we're back... in the jeep!

Once again I find myself at the end of a semester, and here's the word:

Calculus = not easy. Dang it. Conceptually it's not hard, but the doing is really difficult.

Java, not so much. I should probably be better organized for pursuing programming.

Marketing - snirk.

Technical Journalism: I'm going to miss this class. Grades, I did fine in, but the conversation was terrily enjoyable, as was he company.

I start class again on Monday.

I think it's something like management fundamentals.