Many of you might be wondering about Satan, and her desire to plague my life and that of my son by yelling "...but I'm his mother!"
Her latest concern is that I'm not feeding him anything but banana bread. I'll grant that alot of that has passed through my home and even across my breakfast table (no other meals, I swear), but one glance in my pantry allows one to assess that I do have more than just banana bread in the house.
Recently Ultraboy was on the phone with her and explained that we had copious amounts of banana bread, and laughed at her reaction that she was "worried" about us only eating banana bread when he hung up.
Finally, a little warning that the maelstrom of psychosis was about to rage upon me.
Sure as h3||, I got an email the following day:
[summary]
I'm very concerned about ultraboy, as he has only eaten banana bread for the past two weeks. He tells me that he is so thankful to the neighbors for feeding him and that he ess so starfing.
You are a bad father, and I want to change custody with you, until you get back on your feet. Also, possession is 9/10ths of the law, and you'll never see your son again. Jerk.
[/summary]
I responded by saying that Satan could perhaps get webshots of our pantry, or could question UB on what the contents of the pantry are. Perhaps by naming shelf and position.
She accused me of lying. Whatever my 11.5 year old son says is gospel, even though it's wrong. Whatever I say, unless it is in accordance with said gospel, is a lie. Otherwise, it's probably a perversion of the truth.
KHHHAAAAAAAAANNN!
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I admit that anyone with only a superficial exposure to Ultraboy might get the impression that he's malnourished because he's so incredibly skinny. I can say, "He ate as much as I did when I was pregnant!" and people just nod and smile, thinking I must be crazy. But when she has him at her house, watching everything he eats day and night, shoveling it into him day and night, for 7 straight weeks and he doesn't gain an ounce, she ought to have a clue that it just doesn't matter how much he eats, he's just freakin' skinny and is going to stay that way until he stops on his own for no food-related reason. You'd think she could get that idea through her head... but that'd be your problem: You'd think.
I'm glad we have each other to cling to for sanity. :)
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