Facing the problem...

Until all of the recent events, I was barely aware of how badly I was treating my wife and kids. Arguably, I was barely aware. Then Mrs. Charlie suggested that I might be depressed after I mentioned suicidal thoughts the first time we spoke after... well, after things came to a head between us.

Friends confirmed this, but I'm totally in her hands regarding these things... I trust her completely. I feel much better, and I haven't managed to get the medication yet. I have managed to get counseling (both from my wife and from a counselor), and that has been life-changing. I've started trying to remove stressors from my life as well, and bad influences. Both efforts have proven fruitful and I'm much more clear headed than I was. I realize that I'm not 100% right now, but I have enough faculties to REALIZE that.

On a side note, I took a ride with my wife yesterday and cried like... well, I left snot all over the trim on her coat. I felt bad about that, but the crying was also very therapeutic. I know that we're in a rough spot right now, but I'm making every effort to come back and the support she's giving is beautiful. A lesser woman would have turned her back on me and let me sink. I would've deserved it.

My wife is the most wonderful woman ever. I know that with her we can be everything, and without her I am nothing. I need her in my life and will do everything and anything to get back what I've lost.