Sierra Madre

Wal-mart is a wonderful microcosm. Like the dream of living at the mall that many had in the mid-80's, one can
easily picture the adolescents of today thinking likewise.

And they make a pretty strong effort, at least here, of making that dream reality.

But it's to the younger kids that I'll point. The ones, about ten years of age,
that parents leave to the video and music displays while they do serious shopping.

I don't do this to my oldest, who's just cruised past 10 and easily fills the "pre-teen"
category, and here's why:

I was walking past the electronics display after 9:00 pm on a Friday. It was bleak outside,
and the freaks seem to be ever present. Some kids are firing capguns and "riding" through the
store, from clothing to sporting goods. Later I'll see them in the grocery aisles.

Two kids, about 10 in age, stop me. They're clearly trying to do something startling, but I don't
remember what. It was unimpressive.

"You want to scare your parents," I ask.
"Yeah!"

"Okay, this is simple," I proceeded to describe the ending of "Attack of the Pod People."

****************

I remembered the above after passing a kid in the parking lot who was yelling at his mother.
Screaming. I walked up to him and said, "kid, you're going about it all wrong."

I suggested that, when he gets onto a carpeted surface, he slide his fist into his shirt and
try to punch through it, using the other hand to provide stability and to help stress the fabric.
"Fall on the floor, screaming like something is going to pop out of your chest. If you're feeling
adventurous, wear a thin shirt and grab one of those tiny tomatoes. Palm it until no one remembers
you've got it and squeeze the thing while you do it."

His mom was grinning on the other side of the car as I passed.

Don't thank me... I'm just doing my job.

Whatever that is.