Crystal Martin is fat. Short and fat. With large eyes that hide beneath heavy brown bangs. If she wore glasses, she would stand out more... but she is simply plain. She has been my friend now, along with others, for three years.
That's not quite true.
She's always hovered at the edge of my group: the people that call me friend and sit with me at lunch, hang out with me after school. She's always there, following us. I've talked with her alot, but she just doesn't involve herself with anyone else.
Just like I'm following Melody. I've had the hots for her since we were in 6th grade. She's a full-on senior now, and her wide glasses give her a look of studious innocence. Years ago I sent those "secret admirer" notes that she thought were for someone else, and I was too embarrassed to correct her as they laughed. I've almost gotten the courage up to try something again.
Senior year... my last chance.
I'll do it at homecoming.
***************************
Homecoming came and went, and she wasn't there. The Senior Dance, maybe. I'm in the hall talking to Crystal, and she's running toward me... Melody. She bounces and my head swims.
"Is it true? Are you joining the Army?"
Dear God... she knows. It's supposed to be a secret, I just disappear. "No," I answer, shaking my head and near close to tears.
She deflates. "Oh." I watch her walk away, and months later I'll think *unless I take you with me,* but it's not now.
****************************
The Senior Dance. We're both on the committee... she has to be there. It's one of maybe two social things I've ever done, both because I was chasing her around. Stupid. Crystal agrees with me, as we sit together on the bleechers, watching the world dance without us. We're wallflowers... maybe vines. Clinging desperately to the wall, hoping that nothing will pull us from it's shade and safety.
Melody's here. She's in a dress, unlike every time I've ever seen her. She's beautiful. After all is said and done, we both catch a moment alone outside, and she rejects me. She's really nice about it, but my heart has been compressed into a diamond by the single word 'no'. Everything else is silence.
****************************
I'm at my locker when the students part, and there's Crystal. She's made herself up a bit, and I wonder why, when she pulls a small bear from her bag. It's green and white, with words attached that I don't bother reading. Crystal's family has very little money... this bear might've cost her 2 weeks lunches, and all I can see is that I've been crushed by love denied. She asks me to go with her for lunch. Just out to the grass... she's made a picnic.
For my birthday. My parents don't remember. I don't really care.
"No."
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4 Kommentare:
Been there, done that. I had a body to die for in high school but one of my most horrible memories is being whistled at while walking down the hall. I turn and smile at the boy who whistled. He says, "Nice ass but what a face." I had a friend, Lonnie, who'd I'd been in love with forever. He hauled me into a corner one afternoon in 10th grade saying he had something he wanted to ask me, alone. I thought "Omigod, he's going to ask me out." He says, "You know Janet Dickey don't you?" I say, "Yeah" since she was one of my best friends in Junior High. He says, "Do you think you could introduce us? I'd love to ask her out." I did it. They did. I didn't.
Anyway, hope you come by and read mine too. It's here (My LiveJournal is simply kept alive with a feeding tube, so I can be on friends' lists. LOL.)
Oh, ouch...I was that girl, Crystal. Such memories you've opened for me. Good luck in B4B!
Both, I guess. The refusal sets up the refusing nicely, I felt.
I just wanted to say I love the name WTF! Well done. Good luck this month.
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