Verb. That's what's happening...

I need to preface this with an important bulletin: THIS IS A REAL GUY. In my calculus class. The first time I talked to him I hardly paid attention to him aside from his size, but he's been breaking me down with some of the most outrageous lies I think he can come up with. Oh, and I updated this to include some b.s. about his co-workers.

There he is. 6'10", and about as big around. What's he going to say this time?

Ah. Weather station in the arctic... over the weekend. In shorts, because that's what you do in sub-zero weather when you're used to it. Never mind that he's lived in Colorado for at least 14 years of his life... by his own word, mind, so it's suspect.

Want to hear what he did over Spring break? Thought you might, so I'll tell: he flew an F-17 over to the U.S.S. Enterprise, where he tried to land it only to have the officer riding shotgun(!) mess things up. Needless to say he fell 120 meters into the ocean without injury, but the plane was totalled. He was trying to get to Japan, from which he'd gotten a booty-call.

All of this was already on top of the vague possibility that he was a notorious computer hacker and was currently working on attaining 5 engineering degrees simultaneously from a school that only offers 4 (sans environmental and civic, which he ruled out). His co-workers are all ex-Navy SEALs with deadly skills in killing anyone he doesn't like.

He's also a ninja (from the latin "ninjae,"meaning: to ninj. So all of this extracurricular work seriously cuts in on his ability to carry out secret assassinations or infiltrations.

But not to fear, for he has a rare medical disorder, if one could call it that, which allows him to go for days without sleep and suffer no ill effects. He's ambidextrous, so he can use to medium class weapons at the same time without penalty.

I think he's, like, a 40th level wizard.